This coat's too big on me. Around the shoulders, and the sides, I'm lost in it. I guess I must have dropped weight since I came here. I don't really notice, since there's no scale. Yesterday in group I looked at the ceiling and saw the bee in the light had died.

I'm not going to become an insect, at least not that one. I'm going to find Zara now. I have to, I really don't have an option in my head. To live like this, trapped in a little cement box while people tell me I'm crazy? In a book I read, the man had to go to a place like this to go insane. In a lot of books I've read that happens, actually. Well I'm not insane, and I don't belong here, and I think it's time I showed that to someone besides myself and Juudai...

If they ever find this entry, they'll know where I went, and what I thought. I'm writing it on the corner of one of the sheets. I saw that in a movie once, kinda perverted movie, but very cool. Old. Really old. About a man who wrote disgusting things that everyone loved, and when they tried to keep him from writing, he went insane. A lot of books are like that. If you take away the only thing they have, they lose it. I wonder if living creatures are really so fragile our minds rely completely on our escapes. It's depressing in a way.

But at least I'm about to make my own.

The next person to read this, whoever they may be, will know what I think of this place. I think this place is bullshit, it's another person's escape. Nobody's insane, we're all just intolerable of the abnormal. And predjudice during times of war. I think we should get off our asses and stop blaming one another and other things...I think what we should be doing is helping as many people as we can to keep on living.

But then again I'm just a kid, and a drunk, and insane, so what do I know? I know enough to get the hell out of here, that's what...And It's time I was leaving. This is my last entry.

The sterile white of the hallways had never seemed so opressive to Kyotoshi. The stolen lab coat bundled tightly around him, his face turned down, he felt as if he was a flashing beacon, begging to be caught. It was close to as conspicious as he felt the first time he'd bought booze underage. Like the whole world was watching, and knew. And at the time, they probobly had. Again he reminded himself to keep his footsteps natural, cool, unthreatened, and again as soon as he thought this he focused upon them and they grew irregular.

I know I don't look like a docter, what the hell am I doing like this, there's no way I'll get through. They know me. Craika, this is so stupid... Eyes darting across the walls and other aliens nearby, Kyotoshi hoped to god the two emotionless orderlies wouldn't appear and drag him off to wherever Juudai was currently being held. Forcing himself to loosen up, Kyotoshi dug his paws into the pocket of the coat, trying to look nonchalant. It felt almost like his own trench, flowing cooly around him, and the comfort of familiarity allowed him to relax a small amount. Fingertips brushed the interior of the coat's pockets cautiously, exploring.

Slick and smooth, something brushed the very edge of his palm and Kyotoshi nearly jumped in surprise. He reminded himself to calm down again, that nothing in the pocket was going to eat him. Pulling out the object his fingers had discovered reveiled it to be a small laminated tag, probobly the doctor's ID. He couldn't display it, obviously, he looked nothing like the owner of the tag...but he could still use it. The nurse's station was just up ahead, and if he worked smoothly, he might be able to slip by unnoticed. Yeah, right...Here's hoping.

Keeping his face turned away from the nurses was hard to do when the urge to sneek glances at them bayed inside his head. Were they watching him, looking suspiciously, phoneing security? Trying not to break down and glance, Kyotoshi pressed forward, his paw closing tightly on the cold metal bar that worked the locked door. Around his fingertips condensation formed on the icey surface, betrayal to how nervous he was. Fumbling with the ID card, he slid it along a black plastic projection at the side of the door and waited for the click which would admit him. He knew the look of a card-key lock by now, some stores offered up the attachments on vending machines as a way to make extra money. Heart hammering in his chest to preportions which were growing dangerously painful, the wait between the card's sliding felt like an eternity. Doubt began to dance in the corners of his thoughts. Maybe it's the wrong key, maybe this doc doesn't have high enough clearance...Shit, I'm caught, they're probobly calling security now...

Time stretched eternally slow before the click filled the air, shattering Kyotoshi's paranoia and leaving the door to be opened. A triumphant smirk crept nervously onto the yellow Hekshanian's face as he pushed the door ajar, stepping through. Against his better judgement he glanced at the nurse's station again to give a nod of approval, a sort of final insult, only to find the nurse with his face burried in a stack of paperwork. He hadn't even been seen.

But now it was time to take his first step beyond the locked door.

Zara Nikko, I know your room is here...But where...

The door slammed shut behind Kyotoshi, making a metalic squeal and crash which echoed down the bare empty hall and seemed to ram itself directly through the heart of the Hekshanian. The sound impailed him and tossed him about, but Kyotoshi forced himself to keep reserve and move onward. When he had seen Zara in this hallway before...When she had been fighting free of the room...was that her room? It had to be, he hoped to god it was anyway...Counting the doors as he stepped seemed as surreal as the cart ride to the infermary.

One door, two, another...each side, on pastey white walls, identicle. Nothing to tell them apart. How did the doctors navigate in this identical labyrinth? Had this place been specificly designed to drive the patients mad, or was it just a side bonus? Aproximation was the only way Kyotoshi would come close to finding Zara's room.

Claws closing on a metalic knob made a light ticking sound, light enough to be a wasp crawling across a windowpane. The hiss of plastic through plastic as the keycard moved into its slot seemed deafening in comparison. The lightest click, tack, turn and step...into another realm and world Kyotoshi moved.

Everything seemed to slow, to speed, to beat inside him like a new living creature. For a moment he saw her hunched over on the bed, ice white with silver hair. Blood eyes turned to him and in an instant, her arms were around his neck and the snow pale lips pressing to his mouth. A body that looked made of a glacier, chiseled and chipped, pressed so tightly against his own that the sheer warmth was a complete shock. Kyotoshi struggled to close the door behind him without letting go of Zara's waist...since when had he begun to hold her?

Since when had the jacket slithered away, fallen to the ground like an unneeded skin?

They stood, new skinned, pressed together as another species. No longer two creatures but one, silent in the darkness, the time for words was past. Promises were made without speaking. I will get you out of here. You don't belong here. We will be free, you know this. You can hear me, can't you? Yes, I hear you...good. We'll be free. Promise to be safe until we can be free.

Promise to stay well, promise not to fall again. Promise not to take what will make you fall.
Promise to stand with me, until sunlight creeps into this room and finds us unspoken entwined, the very thing people have both feared and dared to speak and write of for centuries... but do anyway...

Promise Me...