There’s another scream, choked and unheard, somewhere in the back of my throat. I’m shaking and I don’t know where I am but the wind is louder than me and that’s good. There’s no music, and that’s better. There is something warm beside me but it’s also wet and sticky and I smell blood. It comes from the warm body, cooling quickly, and from my hands, my hair. I crawl away because I can't stand. I can't see anything. They’re coming for me. I hear nothing over the wind the blood chokes my sense of smell I want to puke and I know they’re coming. I just know it I hear it in my head my bones are vibrating with their approaching foot steps. My skin is crawling. Fear, worms, sickness, exhaustion. The worms are licking away the blood, but not even they can get rid of the smell. They’re maddening, the little bastards. I dig my nails into my arm, don’t care what I do, just get them off, still crawling.

It’s a faithless world a faithless life you don’t deserve to live but don’t you dare die you worthless piece of shit that we’ll stop at nothing to keep these words these words… dull echoes in my head, pounding with my heart. I can feel bricks in front of me and I stop turn around crouch with my back to the jagged wall I know it’s a wall of course it’s a wall made of bricks and assembled by the worms no way in hell am I touching it.

I feel nothing my nails scraping flesh from my arm the goddamn worms laughing they’re coming. The worms led them here and I don’t know why but the two are joined at the hip. Their voices end the breeze. Deaf in the silence, I can hear them calling to one another. They’re looking for me but I am not wanted they’re going to throw me away but they don’t want me gone they want me for themselves even though they never wanted me to begin with. I get to my feet my hand unwillingly leaving my arm I still see nothing but I can feel the ground under my bare feet it’s a ship I’m sick can’t get my balance and slump against the wall. THE WORMS and I fall away from it- hit the ground on my side- I think I moan but all I hear is the sound of them getting closer. I’ve been running so long and I’ve been getting so close but it’s all coming apart now. I can’t get up no matter how hard I try the world rolls like at sea. I drag myself along the line between the wall and the ground mixing dirt with blood my arm twitching like a mad thing but nothing hurts. I know my arms busted but I feel nothing so it doesn’t matter and they’re gonna eat me alive.

The worms are shadows of their former selves, tickling where they had once burned and driven me off some edge to fall and fall and be sick on things I didn’t want to take but I’m away now I’m away for now with my shadows but they’re coming for me. I bang into something. There’s a loud sound, something smashing, something crashing. Trash can, metal, shit. I feel it feel beyond it there’s a corner. I drag myself further and feel another corner. Dead end. There’s nothing ahead of me no where to run as if I could run anyway. My bones are aching they’re getting closer. I open my eyes as wide as I can and still see nothing. I look up and know a darker nothingness than the dark nothingness that I know is in front of me. The wall goes too high up to be climbed over. I grope around in the darkness but find only more trashcans, and a sudden change in the wall. A stoop a single door way desperate I reach for the knob and it's locked. I go to bang on it when the worms vanish. Little candles getting drowned out by floodlights. They’re here ten feet eight feet was there a corner to turn can they see me is the sun still out has it set yet? Am I gasping was that a sob there is nothing because my mouth is dry and my throat is closed and my lips are dry, too. Cracked and bleeding I taste blood I’m dehydrated and I fall back behind some can. I feel myself pressed into the corner, making myself into as small a shape as possible. I’d run but I can’t. I’d fight but I can’t. I would die right here just stop my heart if it meant they’d never get me but I can’t. It’s all over, now. They’re here and the ground shakes.

I wonder how much time I have left. The sun must’ve set because they are tripping over things and cursing. I wonder how long it is until they find me. Maybe they won’t see me.

I pray they leave me here, but I know I'm screwed. No one cares to save me. No one ever even seems to hear me. There’s a final crash as the can I’m behind is tossed aside. I raise my arms, strike out at where they are, I can smell them. Diseased and horrible. There are hands and now I hear myself saying something there are no words but my mouth is moving my bones buzz beyond recognition like like like and a sharp pain in my arm. I wonder if that sound is me begging. I wonder how far down I’ll fall this time.

The ground is hard. I don’t remember hitting it- can’t move- sounds of them walking around me. Picking me up. I don't know where I am but can guess where I’m going. My face is wet with blood tears dirt there are no tears I have no humanity with which to cry do I how could I…

I’m sitting still, a lunatic’s melting world, thick colors in vulgar whirls like vomit laced with oil paints. I’m moving, they’re carrying me, but I don’t respond. Somewhere down the rabbit hole, the world above is just a tiny pinprick of light now and they’re carrying me away. I smell the fresh body rotting as we move past it. I am aware of that. The smell drifts down to where I am but the lights fading fast. I’m sitting here, looking up, knowing there's no way to climb back up. Gotta wait it out, gotta let whatever they gave me wear off, can't lose it, can't...oh, god...

There’s a dull dull clang feet tramping on metal and they’re moving me still maybe now on some ship.

I know where they’re taking me but can't really focus. The colors seem solid and I lean against them. The world is familiar but strange as ever.

The thoughts in my head, memories of cold things and metal pain bindings sharp things... Fireflies twinkle at me, distracting me. There is no time here. I look up again, trying to find the light. It's up there, somewhere... but too far for me to reach... fading away... I feel my eyes drift shut, and everything goes dark.